This week: Monty Saurus on the Stickleback 5 1998

Monty Saurus was a children's game released by Spoilt Child Studios America in 1998 on it's new system the Stickleback 5.

The game was aged at children between the ages of 4-6 years. The premise of the game was a simple one, move the friendly, cartoon, dinosaur, left and right collecting pickups. These pickups being: food, drink, and eating cavemen.

The controllers for the Stickleback were hard wired single button affairs, with a single joystick. Technological advances had meant Spoilt Child Studios had developed an accompanying head set with microphone. In the case of Monty, it allowed children to give him orders: "eat", "bite" and "poop!"

Initial success was apparent, for straight away, heavy demand was being made in the run up to Christmas 1998. Unfortunately for Spoilt Child, they had not had enough time game testing, and were soon aware of gaming issues.

What senior developer Orville Shapeshifter had chosen to omit to other staff, was the internal "intelligence" of the game. Orville had been "moon lighting" at Black Onyx Games up the road. Onyx were themselves working on a gaming console for teenagers, and using the very same chip that Orville had used for the Stickleback. Orville was more than aware that the "Intellechip" was going to be big, but knew that Onyx were ironing out bugs for their forthcoming machine The Bachelorg, a gaming system for single men and losers and would be some time.

With this, Orville decided to see if the chip would push a long in a children's console. His eagerness was his downfall though as complaints were soon coming in. Parents were appalled to find out what their child could make Monty do. Here is an exert from one complaint:

"I came into the living room and sat down to watch my son playing his favourite game Monty Saurus. What I saw on screen was disgusting. My son was telling Monty to "bite" until he had eaten all the fruit off the trees. He then told Monty to "poop!" so he did. He then turned Monty round to eat his own "poop!" I couldn't believe this was happening. Next my son made Monty "puke" as he obviously didn't want to eat poop! Monty was then sick. I thought this was bad enough but then my son shouts "bite!" so excitedly. Monty starts eating the "poop sick!" I was shocked. My son then gets Monty to walk over to a bunch of cavemen. I thought he was going to "bite" as the game instructs, but no. My son shouts "poop!" and quick as you like, Monty has defecated on the caveman! He then tells Monty to "bite" again. Jesus, the poor dinosaur is eating a man covered in dinosaur crap! So then my son tells Monty to "puke" again, but on more cavemen! This goes on and on till Monty becomes pale and falls over. He doesn't get up! My son shouts: "yeah, Monty is dead!" I switched the machine off and sent him to his room. What were you people thinking?!"

Reports like this flooded Spoilt Child, who were rightly concerned and ordered a full recall on the system and game. The investigation led all the way to Shapeshifter, who could not be found. Days later his body was found inside a windmill. On a Crazy Golf course. Suicide was the verdict, so nobody else was accused. Leaving Shapeshifter as the sole person for the disaster.

Spoilt Child Studios was broken up and never again made technology of the kind again. But what of Black Onyx and the Bachelorg?

The following year the Bachelorg was released and became the biggest selling new console ever. And what sold the console so well? The Bundled game: Celebrity Breakdown.

This Week: Barry Von Richthofen PS1 1995

"A stricken tri-plane is seen above the French Town of Amiens. It is 1918 and The Great War is nearly at an end. Infantry man Barry Blot has just discovered the town and the sight of the plane, having been separated from his unit. Following the plane instead of heading to the town, Blot finds the plane downed in a near bye field.

"Blot approaches cautiously, checking for the "hun" and any life in the pilot. It is clear the pilot is dead and that he is German flyer. Blot drags the body clear before seeing the plane explode in a bright ball of flames. As the flames dance in the rising sun, it is clear to Blot that the man is the image of himself! On checking the pilot's papers Blot is shocked to reveal he is none other than "Manfred Von Richtofen" The Red Baron!

"(Oh and he also looked at the bright red tri-plane, and figured it was probably him.)

So begins the journey for Barry Blot. Removing a flight ready pigeon for his kit bag, Barry writes a message to home:
(The scroller writes)

"Dear Mam and Dad,

The weather here is lovely. It would be better if there wasn't a War on, but hey-ho. Got into some bother in the first battle so ran away. I've had a change of  heart now since I remembered they will shoot me for it. Anyway, you have to tell General Ash Burton Grove that The Red Barron is dead and I am going to be him! Shhh, don't tell anyone, (like that snooty slag, Vera Bollard at number 42) as it's on a need to know basis. I'm planning to fool the hun into thinking I got out alive when secretly I will be sending a flying pigeon home with jerry's plans each week. I reckon my Grammar School German will get me through and I'll blag the flying. Any shooting will involve missing or shooting their lot down!
Stay safe mam, and keep grand dad away from my parsnips in the potting shed!

Love
Barry".

So begins the game. Barry dons the Baron's flying suit and buries the body. Will the Germans smell a rat? Will Barry be shot down by RAF? How many live pigeons does Barry have in that bag?
All these questions will soon be answered!

Nope It's: "Kids TV I Am Aren't Seeing!

This week: "Trilby and Co" LWT 1978-1982

Trilby and Co was a kids tv programme aimed at 4 to 6 year olds and pre school kids.
It was commissioned by London Weekend Television and filmed around the South East of England.

In early 1976 producers for children's television devised a new programme to entertain and educate at the same time. The programme would follow the adventures of a live chimpanzee called "Trilby". Trilby would drive a double decker, red, London bus to schools and meet school children. There with his assistant Aljanon, he would "talk" to the kids about school and learning. A small sub story would involve Trilby collected numbers and letters to fill his "Monkey Board".

Trilby's helper, Aljanon was played by a black man (Marcus Mears) who would "speak" for Trilby using such lines as "what was that Trilby, you want the kids to give you a banana?" or "what was the Trilby, you want to go to sleep now?" Casting of both Trilby and Aljanon took some time as both needed to suit each other. As Trilby needed to be well behaved, Aljanon needed to be able to follow the handlers course and look after Trilby and the safety of children.

In late 1977 a chimp called Mr Fitz had been deemed suitable and had bonded well with Mears. Filming soon began and that is when the problems began. For although Trilby was manageable in most parts, he was prone to mood swings. In a documentary of "Kidz Top 40", Mears was asked about the time with Trilby. "The chimp was horrible. For every adorable cuddle, there was faeces throwing and blind refusal to cooperate".

In Mears biography (published in 1990 "Monkey Business and Me". Flannel Books) he tells of how Trilby would take off his blue boiler suit and cap, parading around the bus naked. The problems were not particular to Trilby either, as Mears tells how racist exec's paid the monkey more than him, forcing him to quit the show in 1981. Mears was replaced by "Jan" (Sue Flipflop) with no explanation to fans, late 1981, but was also unhappy with the chimp. Flipflop left the show after rumours of Trilby trying to "make love on her".

Sadly by November 1982, it was all over. Trilby was cancelled after an "automotive incident". Chinese whispers circulated that Trilby (now heavily dosed drunk and chain smoker) had actually figured out how to drive the bus! Word spread that the chimp escaped from his handler and jumped into the bus, started it, and went screaming off round the studio car park. Witnesses reported seeing the chimp grinning in the driving seat, "flipping the bird" to shocked onlookers. After hundreds of pounds of damage to parked cars, the bus crashed. The LWT Marksman took aim and shot Trilby. Bringing an end to a bitter sweet adventure.

Exec's were rightly saddened by the passing of Trilby, but had to move on. They followed this up with Gonk! in 1983. It was an animated stomach that taught children how to eat the right food. Although popular, it never captured the hearts of a cheeky chimp and a helper called Aljanon.

To this day you can see a statue dedicated to the memory of "Mr Fitz" at Gypsy Adventure Park, Norwich. The inscription on the stand reads: "Mr Fitz, actor, womaniser, misunderstood bus thief"

This week: Talon Torque Thrust: Justicator Sega Mega Drive 1994

Talon Torque Thrust: Justicator, was a game released by games producer Cyril in 1994.

The game followed ex Special Forces Talon Torque Thrust, who has to battle the crime ridden streets of Talamus City. The flying elements of the game are taken from a cockpit, first person, view of the Knight Falcon. The Falcon is a multi million pound "Chopper-Jet" hybrid, armed to the teeth with state of the art weaponry.
There are two elements to the game, one consisting of flying the Falcon and engaging enemy "Glider Hoards". And taking on the enemy at ground level in game play that is viewed as a side on scroller. At any time Talon is flying the Falcon, he may receive communications from various characters. These include Mayor Brian Tyler, a man trying to get Talon "onside" to help him clear the streets. Police Chief Henry Martland, a tough cop who doesn't trust Talon. And Seegus Raynard, a crazy, criminal, master mind. Hell bent on ruining both Tyler and Martland, through criminal acts and unearthing secrets about their past

When Talon is contacted, a speech bubble appears showing an image of the caller and what they want. Talon is offered money or "knowledge" for missions that pay for his weaponry. The money can be spent at Cuboid Industries, where Professor Kelvin produces strange weapons behind the companies back. The knowledge given to Talon, will give him the information to know who to trust and which missions to take. As the game progresses, we see Talon find more clues to the Cities problems and also shows Talon double crossed on occasion.

The game was largely overlooked on release, but has a cult following now. It had a small release quantity compared to other games, and was never released in Japan. Copies can now fetch many hundreds of pounds to collectors and is highly sought after in it's full release packaging: Box, game, instructions, map, and sunglasses. The sunglasses are the very same that Talon is wearing in game. Many didn't realise, that to finish the game by opening the safe and stealing the microfilm, one had to copy the code imprinted on the glasses arms.

This week: Operation Wolfamstow Sega Mega Drive

Operation Wolfamstow was a first person shooter from Developers Potaito (1988)

The object of the game is to rescue the four hostages in the shopping centre. The game is divided into six stages: Chingford Setup, Epping Forest,Woodford, Tottenham, Leyton, Leytonstone, and London City Airport. Completion of each stage advances the story. For example, upon completing the Epping Forest stage, an enemy leader is interrogated and the location of the enemy's multi story car park is found. This was one of the first shooter games to feature a storyline, and it had some similarities to real special operations missions of East 17.


The band originally felt that having a game about their life would be unimaginably dull, as they spent most days drinking Tizer and buying clothes two sizes too big. Management agreed with this and allowed Tony Mortimer to "expand on the East 17 universe." Thus a first person shooter was born. Tony devised an idea that before each level, a band member shown holding an uzi would advise the players that: "shit has got real  man, an it's time pop some caps innit?!"


The player would then begin the level with the track "House of Love" booming in their ears. Every so often senior enemy characters would jump out as a band member would shout "dat bitch iz not showin' you respek!" as a sign you need to eliminate the offender. As the first level reached its climax, a banner would declare: "Chingford Massive!" as the screen was filled  with big coated hoodies, in silly hats. A band member can clearly be heard saying: "BLAP, BLAP, BLAP!" In the back ground.


The game would continue in this way until the last level was reached. This was the most difficult level and was accompanied by the song "Stay Another Day". The Airport level also has snow fall to enhance the potential for Christmas sales of game and song. The level began with Tony Mortimer informing the player: "Right this is it. Forget oh that atha shit. Let's make some noise!" From there the action is fast and none stop. The difficulty heightened as amongst the hoodie gangsters are the general public. All off to sunny climbs. As the player faces the final baddie, the band itself joins the fight in pixelated glory. One by one they are sadly offed and it is also possible to release a handbrake on a truck by shooting it. Thus seeing Brian Harvey squashed to death.


Once the game is complete, the band members are shown on screen with arms around each other smiling at the player.
"You did it brav, that was pucka, you trumpet!"

This week: Stylophone Hero, Playstation 2

Stylophone Hero is the third game in a series of musical video games released in 2005
After the roaring success of the original game (Kazoo Hero) and the eagerly awaited sequel (Theremin Hero), developers Blue Bog Roll decided to push the musical potential to its extremes.

The original concept, Kazoo Hero was released on the Playstion 1 (1998) to incredible fan fare. In the game players used the wired kazoo to play along to popular kazoo hits. Within this the player could "jam along" to such hits as Frank Zappers "Hungry Freaks, Daddy", Jimi Hendrix's "Cross Town Traffic", and The Beatles "Lovely Rita" from "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band".

An interesting aside to this was that the screen showed nothing but the album cover and no actual lead into how the tune should be played on screen or using the instrument. Despite this draw back and an unseen audience booing the poor performance, it was not uncommon for players to play into the early hours of the morning, due to the simple "pick up and play" concept.

With the success of the first game came a much anticipated sequel Theremin Hero, (1999). The bar had been set quite high by Blue Bog Roll developers, so a new idea was born. This centred around the Theremin. Players  used the Theremin by waving there hand close to the instrument to create "sound waves". Although many found the concept unashamedly "hat stand", it still sold 13 million units. Players could "wave along" to such hits as The Beach Boys "Good Vibrations", Led Zepplin's "whole Lotta Love" and "No Quarter". The game also had "unlockable" cinema score content for 50's B-Movies.

The final part in the "Hero" game trilogy was Stylophone Hero (2005) on the Playstation 2. Many believed that developers had rung the concept dry as rival development studios had created  hits like Empty Washing Up Bottle: Full of Dry Rice and the heavily lauded, 20 Great Triangle Percussion Hits. But Blue Bog Roll had one more ace up it's sleeve. This was Stylophone Hero. A game that consisted of a small electronic box like keyboard, with metal strip that had segmented notes. The instrument was played using a stylus connected to the device to produce sounds akin to somebody asphyxiating a goose eating a bumble bee.

The public surprisingly lapped it up, with sales in access of 22 million units by the end of 2005 making it the "must have" Christmas toy. The game came bundled with hits like David Bowie's "Space Oddity" and "Slip Away", Kraftwerk's "Pocket Calculator". Other groups that featured keyboards heavily but not necessarily the Sylophone, jumped on board to boost flagging careers. These included The Pet Shop Boys "West End Girls" and Erasure with their hit "Sometimes"

Such was the popularity of Stylophone Hero that "Hero Bands" were formed containing the previous two instrumental games. Groups such as "Blow-Wave-Bleep" and "Rolf's 8 Ball" with their incredibly catchy hit "The boy who cried Rolf!" drew critical yet short term fame.

In the end of 2006, the Hero games era had passed. Blue Bog Roll had ran out of paper and with nothing but a cardboard tube to its name, went into receivership and folded. New ideas and consoles came and swallowed up the format and today the Hero games are remembered with great nostalgia.

Rumba: First Ballad: Master System

 Rumba: First Ballad was top down vertical dancing game for the Sega Master System

First Ballad (also known as Rumba: First Ballad) is a 1986 dance video game directed by Lou Bega. The game follows Lou Bega as John Rumba, a troubled and misunderstood Free Dance veteran, with Judge Will Teasle (Bruce Forsythe) as his nemesis and Colonel Samuel Trautman (Len Goodman) as his former dance teacher and only ally. It was released on October 22, 1986. Based on David Morrell's 1972 novel of the same name, it was the first of the Rumba series. Unlike the sequels, which were musical adventure films set in foreign countries, First Ballad was a post-Cha-Cha-Cha psychological thriller set in the United States. First Ballad lacks the jazz hands and hot shoe shuffle that would become a trademark of the series
The first level follows the film closely as John dances up the screen distracting local law enforcement and scaring children. The aim of the game is to shoot musical notes from a saxophone, so enthralling the town into involuntary dancing and singing.

Soon the Sheriff Forsythe arrives to arrest John for his creepy dance moves and encouraging fruity behaviour.

In the cells John is tortured with the continuous play of Take These Broken Wings by Mister Mister. Tapping your buttons as fast as possible increases your "tolerance meter" until the timer is beaten.

Escaping the cells John steals a girls bicycle and pedals of to a local dance hall to hold up and face off the sheriff and make a stand on his turf.

Will John make it through the game alive?

Will level 5 "Pans People: High Kicks and Twirls" be too much?

Or will Len Goodman save the day with a "SEVEN!"